The Blog Wagon

I've jumped on it. At least, I'm trying, but I think it's left without me. Am I technically still jumping on the bandwagon if the craze seems to have diminished somewhat? Perhaps I've at least caught a seat in the back. I've abandoned several attempts to keep a private, handwritten journal because a) in my house, there is no such concept of 'private,' and b) I always feel, when I write, that I am writing for the benefit of some unseen audience. Maybe journals are meant to be read by outsiders to offer perspective. Or maybe I'm just incredibly vain and take measurable pleasure in the thought of people reading what I have to say. Either way, potential audience, I'm sure there is enjoyment to be found on somebody's part.

Today's an interesting day in what might only be the second interesting day I've had at work in a year. To catch hypothetical readers up to speed, I used to work as an assistant manager of a local restaurant. Basically a glorified waitress, I was given a set of keys to the store and the register as well as a nifty little card that got me into the inner workings of our Point of Sale computer system. I was stripped of that title a few months ago (note interesting day number one) when my admitted laziness became more than just an inconvenience for the other managers. After a few months of working with my metaphorical tail between my legs, I heard that my renewed attitude and dedication had been noticed, and there was talk of restoring my card-carrying priveliges. Ultimately, last night, the decision was made to promote a girl who once used to work under me.

So today I'm a little off, because in my heart of hearts I know that I am damn good at that job when my heart's in it. The problem is, my heart hasn't been in it for quite a long time. I'm personally invested in this restaurant in a number of different ways, but it's becoming increasingly clear to me that I'm no longer happy there. Unfortunately, as a creature of habit, trying to motivate yourself to leave a job you're so comfortable at is a daunting task. I feel like the restaurant is a boyfriend I've been dating for so long that I don't want to go and end it even though I know things aren't really working out and there's a good chance one of us is going to get screwed around on in the near future.